How To Help a Friend Who is Being Abused

How can I help someone in an abusive relationship?

  • Talk About It – Just knowing that someone cares enough to ask about the abuse can break through the wall of isolation often felt by victims of relationship abuse.
  • Listen without judging . Often when someone is being abused they believe all the criticisms and negative messages that the abuser says about them. They may feel responsible, ashamed and afraid that you will judge them.
  • Say “It isn’t your fault.” There is no excuse for physical or emotional abuse – not alcohol, drugs, jealousy, financial difficulties, stress or any of the victim’s actions.
  • Explain That Abuse Tends to Get Worse – Domestic Violence recurs and escalates over time and it rarely stops without an intervention.
  • Provide Information – Give the person 180’s 24/7 Domestic Violence Hotline number, 1-888-843-9262, if they live in Monmouth County, New Jersey. Our hotline is free and confidential. For other areas The National Domestic Violence Hotline at (800) 799-SAFE (799-7233) can provide information about domestic violence shelters and programs in your local area.
  • Realize that Ending a Relationship Is a Process. The best that you can do is to be patient and supportive.